About The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006 | View This Issue
McCall (at the Senate)-"Murry,
who is that man in the Speaker's
Murry-"Why, that's Thomas G.
McCall-"Why, I thought McLeod
was lieutenant-goyernor of the State I"
HE HAD RED SOMETILING.
Prof. Davis-"Mr. Russell, have
you ever read Shakespeare?"
"Red" Russell-"No, sir."
Prof. Davis-"Or Tennyson, or
"Red" Russell--"No, sir."
Prof. Davis-"Well, what have you
"Red" Russell (meekly)-"I have
red hair, sir."
"Paris" Green-"Parlez-vous Fran
"Lustige Witwe" Hart - "Ich
Buic the Big-"Say, kid, does your
mother know you are up on Main
Mullins the Midget-'Yes, and she
gave me a cent and a half to buy the
biggest .fool I met. Are you for sale ?"
WABBLES FOR THE BIRD
Young Wyche from Prosperity
Once got on the - of a spree,
And now he declares
With eyes in his tears
He'll touch nothing stronger than tea.
An hypierote is old George Topshe,
He told me he ne'er took a dropshe,
But on brandy and sherry
He once got so merry
That they had to call in a copshe,
Red Russell, whose morals are lax,
Once went to a joint known as
le bough.t him some corn;
Drank it till near morn
They brought him home in two hacks.
Is Offered to the
the Best College 3
of April. The Y<
in the Gamecock as
The Following Mer
Will Act as Judges
B. Manning, C. "I
Oliphant and R. M
Competitors Will Leave ti
don, 3 E. Legare or A. D
WhIlien the 'night is calm and still,
When to study 'tis your will,
And upon the campus near
Comes a cry that fills with fear
E'en the far off Bengal lion
Then there'd be no harm in tryin'
A gun on poor Fresh. Mace;
Because, in such a case,
It is necessity,
And thus such things must be.
When the clay is dark and drear,
And Russell, "Red," approaches near;
When to see him you do wish,
And in vain you're not to fish
Among the lofty soaring skies,
There "ain't no use" in straining eyes.
So, a glass, 'tis best to use,
For one's eyes do not confuse;
Then, in necessity,
Such things must sure so be.
When Merry Widow's voice resounds
Within the campus' lonely bounds,
And in your brain a strain
Of music can't remain
For e'en a minute's relapse,
Why then most certainly, perhaps,
A dose of good morphine
Would bring one joy serene.
And, in necessity,
No harm in this could be.
If, after exams. have passed by,
And left you still awondering why
Your name not on the list appears,
And of reports you have your fears,
Sometimes it seems most good to
That, like the winds, your troubles'll
If a (lose of booze you'll take
For the good old exam's. sake.
No harm in this could be.
Fred Stem, one of the best first base
men in the big leagues, paid Carolina
a visit last Sunday on his way North
to report to his team, the Boston Na
Are you trying for The Gamecock
E OF $5
lell Before the First
11ls Will Be Printed
they are Handed in.
Offer the Prize and
Coach Dick Reid,
.* Graydon, A. D.
urdaugh. : : : :
1eir Yells with C. T. Gray
.Oliphant, 7 W. Ruterdge
Dr. Joynes on His Florida Trip
My Dear Gamecock: The State
and The Carolinian had already antic
ipated you in asking for some memo
rials of my recent trip to Florida. But
through you I may send a greeting to
our students, with my thanks for a
happy return to the dear old campus.
"My visit to White Springs not only
'restored my health, but greatly revived
my spirits. In proof of which, after
being there a week, I was asked, in a
room full of company, how long I had
been a widower! And my old pencil,
long accustomed to nothing beyond
correcting French and German exer
cises, began to indite verses to the
melting eyes of that tropic clime. Of
these I enclose you a specimen or two
of the mildest type, with promise not
to do so any more, if I may be for
given this time.
Glad to be back again amid friends
and familiar scenes, and with best
EDWARD S. JOYNES.
March 5, 1909.
WHITE SPRINGs VERSES.
I. To MARS. MARY
A fair young widow.
"Mary I" sweetest, floliest niame,
Vorne by the Virgin High
So sweet, so pure the flame
That gleams in your soft eye.
2. To Miss JULIA, when sick'.
(, where is Miss Julia?
I find it peculiar,
That when she is well
She is bright as a bell,
But when she is sick she is mist.
3. To Miss MYRTLE FAY
The myrtle is sweet,
And a fay is a good elf,
But where sweetness and goodness
Is in Myrtle Fay herself.
4. To Miss CLAUDE BOND
A rhyme for Miss Claude!
Who would not applaud
Her voice so bright,
Her eyes of light?
What heart could fail to respond
To the charm of so sweet a Bond?
E. S. J.
Exit "Crowbar" .
Sad, sad, sad. The "Crow" has
flown ; the "Crobar" will no longer be
seen in 7 East Rutledge. He has
girded up his loins, packed up his be
longings in a box about two feet in
dliamneter, and gathered himself unto
other parts. Crum Murray is hyster
ical; Charlie Colcock has lost his joy
ouis disposition, and Pat is wveighed
dlown b)y a (lark melancholy.
"Crobar" has gone. But let us not
weep for him ; bult rather find consola
tion iln the memory of tihe past joys of
J. HT. Cooper had threatened to close
in the mortgage on Crobar's household
goodls and( chattels; Chick Adldicks
wvas in a purring condition, and Gold
stein was furious because of an unre
(deemed wvatch which would not run.
Besides all this, No. 7 wvas too niear
the water spigot, anid it is well knowvn
that "Crobar" does not like wvater as a
dIrink or for any other purpose. Vale,
Simon Departed for Syria
The Senator was smiling.
"What's the matter, George? Some
body paid you some money?"
"Nar, man!" with an incredulous
shrug of the shoulders; "Ain't you
hear? Simon gone back to de ould
country dis mornin', he an' his wife."
"What did lie do with his store?"
"Sold out to his brudder. But, hal
man, his brudder, I kno' his brudder.
You buy one pack cig'rette, he give
you one match, you buy two pack cig'
rette, lie give you two match, tree pack
cig'rette, tree match. Hal, man, I
kno' his brudder. He stingy l" the
Senator concluded emphatically.
"But, George, I never have noticed
that you were so free with matches."
"Hal, man, I got cigar lighter. Cost
me tree dollar."
"What made Simon go back to the
old country ?"
"Me," answered the worthy Sena
tor, serenely. "He make no money.
Go back to de ould country, where you
can live cheap, five, ten cint day, man."
"When are you going back,
"Hal, man, when dey move de col
lege over dare."
"Well, so long, George. I'm sorry
"Say," called the Senator after me,
"You hear de joke on Jim Sullivan?
He crazy as-"
"Heard it years ago, George," I
answered and departed.
There's many a maid with lustrous
And lips of a strawberry red,
Soft-clad in wondrous raiment fair,
And with milk and honey fed.
There's many a maid of royal birth,
Close locked in grim castle wall,
Renowned for beauty, and wit, and
And no one can count them all.
But the Queens of Carolinal
Each one a fair Regina I
There's Speig for beauty and Finley
And for wit with Youmans there's
never a dearth.
So raise me a toast and wine 'er I
Each Queen of old Carolina!
And back in the famous times of eld
Full many a monarch swayed;
And insurrections oft he quelled,
And niany a kingdom made.
And noble and freeman and varlet and
HeI ruledl with an iron hand;
And many a foe laid lie in the turf,
Backed b)y his faithful band.
But the King of Carolinia!
A King with nio Reginia I
For Irvinie doth rule 'em and Irvine
And insurrections low doth lay.
So raise me a toast, Gay Winer
The King of old Carolina I
Our old friend George Washington
is again off the gang. George states
that lie is delighted to be among us