About The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006 | View This Issue
Dr. Colcock (in astronomy)-'.'Mr.
Sheppard, why are the days longer in
summer than in winter?"
"Hon." Sheppard (learnedly)
"Why, in summer heat expands the
air, while in winter the cold contracts
WHAT COMPOUND DID HE FORM?
Executive Committeeman Thomas
(rendering his report)-"Mr. Presi
dent, I wish to say that I went to
Newberry and precipitated in all the
HOW LONG DO THEY WAIT?
Dr. Moore (in psychology)-"Those
tawny, sable sons of Central Africa,
who lie beneath the cocoanut trees and
wait for the bananas to fall upon
WILL IE TAKE IT LONG?
It is rumored that the Honorable
John Shakesbeer Hocy has been al
lowed to take the second term of first
math. on prohibition.
Which is huger, Fresh. Metz's feet
or Fresh. Mace's voice?
It is rumored that a pair of our fair
Co-ed. queens are taking boxing les
sons from Mac.
No, -, go!
King's high, then. Shoot l
Toss the game
Mud's your name
Ace and ten to boot.
Skin the pack!
Where's that jack?
Hasn't turned up yet ?
Last round, Kid
Four was bid;
Damn his face, I'm set.
"The other night it was cold as hell
and lark as pitch, and Crum Murray
was coming down the campus shiver
ing till his hair waved. The Crum
didn't have no coal and he was mosey
ing around Doctor Burney's iron fence
looking for something to burn. There
was a pile of something black on the
sidewvalk, and he put a big lump under
each arm anid ambled. I was sitting in
the room when he came in," finished
Chollie Colcock, pulling his skull cap
straight, "and he wvanted to bat me
through the chimney place wvhen I
laughed at the cobblestones he was
'carrying. It~ 'might not be funny or
pointed or humorous, but the look on
his face was worth a pass on a full
Remember the basketball game next
The Captains Interviewed.
THE SENIOR CLASS TEAM.
Captain Rembert is highly elated
over the prospects of his team. When
interviewed this morning, he stated
that the aggregation is especially
strong on first base, that the initial
sacker. was a star of the first brilliance
and is expected to win the game by his
stellar work. He admits that the sec
ond sacker is rather weak, but hopes
that the rest of the team will over
balance this defect. Havird will be
compelled to bat with one hand so
that too many balls will not be lost.
Captain Rembert regards the cham
pionship as cinched for the Seniors
and has sent propositions to arbitrate
to the other captains.
THE JUNIOR TEAM wINNERS.
Captain DesPortes, of Winnsboro,
says that the Juniors have a look-in
on the championship like five aces and
a razor on a boosted pot. He says
that the other collections of would-be's
have as much of a show as a bunch of
missionaries in the Fijis. Arrange
ments have been completed for a ban
quet in the Topshe Pool Parlors on
the night of the championship game.
Captain DesPortes has made an ur
gent call for a water boy and sponsors.
He says the Junior maidens are an
unldyal set and besides they are all
getting old and wrinkled. The cap
tain regards the pitching staff, con
sisting of himself and DesPortes, as
particularly strong. He doubts wheth
er the catcher will be able to hold the
fierce shoots, but will try to ring in the
old rule that a batter who strikes out
SOPIIS' UNKNOWN QUANTITY.
Captain Billy Perrin unhooked his
arm from around Red Ligon's neck
long enough to wave it towards the
ball field. "It will be the scene of
many a glorious contest, but none so
truly thrilling as those in which the
Sophs. will mash the Seniors, Juniors
and Freshs. Nothin' t' saiy abeout de
matter. Oi havint decoided h-h-hwat
position Oi'll plaiy; but Oi've ordered
me a six-foot baat." Captain Perrin
smuiled that broad, world-including
smile and wound his arm three times
around the Ligon neck. He refused
to say anything further in particular
but hinted that he had hired several
Nationals and would spring a few
dlark horses later.
FRESH MEN INvINCIBILE.
Captain Gresham, of Buffalo Mills,
spoke in strong terms about his hope
fuils. He says that he is endeavoring
to obtain Mr. Alfred Covar, of Edge
field, to umpire the game. MacMillan,
lie says, will probably play the whole
game, and Fresh. Harper can't be
touched with a magnet on the end of
a two-yard pole. "The Freshmen are
invincible and if I only get to the bat
five times, I'll guarantee the score will
be at least five to nothing." It seems
that Fresh. Hart is the best all-round
player in the class, but Captain Gres
ham has ruled him out so a to makre
the -ames more 'even. Red Russell
has been disqualified.: because he
covers the plate every time he goes to
the bat and the umpire can't call balls
and strikes on him. "The Freshmen
may not win the championship, but it
they don't, I'll read the Latin on the
monument," he concluded.
On thAdvantage of Towering
(By "Rubrant" Russell.)
I have not always been so tall, and
wihy I am so tall I do not know. But
I do know that I am both glad and
sorry of it.
Now, last fall rumors of a football
game on Davis field permeated the at
mosphere, even in the altitude of my
auditory organs. I was slightly inter
ested, although my Sunday school
teacher had warned me against this
barbarous sport. So one (lay I sat
down on the lowest step of DeSaussure
College in order that I could hear
Mace when he told me on what day
the game was to be played. Finally,
after close listening, I distinguished
the word "Tuesday."
Tuesday came, as all days have a
way of doing. In the afternoon I
wandered over to Davis field to see the
game. Some little fellow met me at
the gate and said something about
"ticket." 0 I was going on in, but he
shut the gate. Well, I didn't know ex
actly what to do, so I rambled around
next to Science Hall and looked over
the fence. The boys were all tied up
in a knot, but finally one by one they
untied themselves and got down and
looked at each other. Then they went
together and tied up into another knot.
Suddenly, one fellow,-I think his name
was Dargan, got the ball and made
down the field with it. It was exciting
with all the people yelling. Like a
fool, I started to yell too, but I jam
med my chin against a nail on top of
the fence. How it hurt I I had
enough. Football is a cruel sport.
Oh, yes. there was a girl. I met
her last Fair Week. We mutually
caught each other trying to look over
the top of the skyscraper at the flag
pole on the State House dome. On
my part, it was love at first sight. I
walked around to the other side of the
skyscraper where she stood demurely
silent. I extendedi my hand. She took
it and together we strolled down
Main street. Just to show her that
I was as tall as she was and at the
same time to amuse her, I shifted S.
B. McMaster's big sign from the 4op
of his store to the top of the Y. M. C.
A. She laughed a charming, rippling,
little laugh, which sounded like the
murmur of Niagara Falls. I could
whisper sweet nothings in her ear
without so much as bending my head.
Together, oblivious of all the world,
we might have strolled down the wind
ing paths of life, as that dlay we
strolled down Main street, but, alack V
my new-found lady-love was run over
and killed by a bicycle.
Yet, who will be bold enough to
say that there are no advantages in
being tall enough to glance over the
skyscraper? Had I not been able to
do so, I would never have met my
(Next week The Gamecock will be
favored by another pen effusion from
Mr. "Rubrant" Russell on "The Dis
advantages of Towering Above All.'?
The-Heat of Haif
For weeks. the many",friends of the
Merry Widow have noticed that all
her thoughts and words have been
clothed with a tender melancholy,
This is very unliatural for the widow,
for she is of a bright and happy dis
On investigation it has been found
that every night the Merry Widow
goes to the monument in the middle of
the campus and stands there for hours,
seemingly writing something. But
still it cannot be charged that she
painted the monument, for she is too
modest for that. But she writes there
something. . After much study of the
writing, the author has deciphered the
following, giving a pictur-7of Hart's
heart, the explanation of his tender
"Dearest Maud: After finishing, or
being finished by examinations, I am,
thinking of those things I love more
than learning, and all the wisdom of
the wise ones. I am thinking this
morning of you, and, in this contem
plation, I find encouragement, and am
inspired to hope and strive for better
and higher things for myself and those
"I have finished my examinations
successfully, and attribute it all to you.
The memory of you and your loveli
ness was to me a star, guiding through
the bewildering mazes of mathemat
ics, physics and astronomy. In the
science of mathematics I learned no
fact more true than the truth of the
beauty of your soul: in physics I
learned of the existence of no power
stronger than the beneficent influence
of your presence; in astronomy I
learned of no orbs more wonderful
than those divine orbs of thine, those
eyes that laugh, love and speak, and
make me nobler and better, as the days
"Death is a blessing to many, en
cumbered with the cares and trials of
the world. To many of the poets of
the past, tired with the 'fever of the
world,' it has come as a gentle falling
asleep after a day of 'toil and trou
ble;' but to me, to live is to love, to
live for you, to love you. If all the peo
ple of the world were as beautiful and
lovely of soul as you, I would love to
live as if I were immortal, for then
this would be a heaven peopled with
angels. _Ad;-,methink$ qhat among
these you wot.ld be the queen.
"This, Love, is a world of beauty.
We see around us the waving forests
of green foliage growing beneath the
life-giving rays of the sin; we have
everywhere s p a r k li nig .w a:t e r s,
ever-flowing, beautiful, lever-.rippling
to the song of time, unsung by voice
or harp of many. We have the starry
firmament, lit by the light of other
worlds, a beauty which transfigures
you and me; I feel that poor mortals
are not worthy of this beauity until I
think of you. Then are all things lost
in the memory of your character, as
innocent as the prayer of childhood, of
your eyes, beautiful as hope; your lips,
more lovely than rubies; your love,
more to be desired than life.. Then it
is that my heart leaps uip, as when a
beautiful rainbow is seen in the sky.
Trheni my heart, dumb thing, feels that
the word is not worthy of you, and me,
more unworthy, loves you with a love
that is more than love, with a love
more deep than. tenar narid~v- wil"