About The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006 | View This Issue
There is some talk on the campus
of organizing a Minstrel Club. It
is to be hoped that this will be done,
as the minstrel show is always one
of the most enjoyable of college
events. In past years this club has
been a great financial help to ath
letics. The prospects for a good
minstrel is excellent this year.
The "Gentleman from Taxahaw"
-otherwise known as "Cope" Mas
sey-has a new supply of jokes, so
you had better stay on your guard
= when he 5omes around.
6 "There was a young man who said
Rockefeller's donations got taint?
c_ Said a young man in the street,
cfS Who was less indiscreet,
15 They may smell of oil, but tain't
Prof. Carson-"Mr. Hoey, wnat
Fresh. Hoey-"I can't think of it
right now, but I have it in my
Prof. Colcock (in Astronomy)
"Can you tell me how many kinds
of time there are?"
"Josh" Ashley-"Railroad, town,
"There is a youth named Hoey,
An exceedingly lanky old boy.
He comes from up North,
But on a Southerner he's soft.
This pretty young maiden is coy
And does her constantly annoy,
For she says with a laugh, .
'You haven't the sense of a calf.'"
Prof. Carson-"Mr. Reeves, how
does pressure vary beneath the sur
face of water?"
Soph. Reeves-"It varies in
versely as the square of the diame
Fresh. Rainsford-(on football
field)-"Say, don't you know
whether Prof. Smith is an alna
mater of this University?"
Fresh. lRichardson--"You don't
know anything; you mean he was
- Teacher-"Willie, state this sen
Snce in other words : 'The goat
Willie-"He hurled the' previous
end of his anatomy against the boy
with an eagerness and velocity
which, backed by the goat's avoir
dupois, was not relaxed until the
instigation of the vehement exas
peration was landed on terra firma,
outside the pale of the goat's juris
PSALM OF MATH.
"Lines and angles oft remind us
That we can make them coincide,
But the proofs we leave behind us
Show plain the ponies we ride.
"Art is long ahd Math. is lacking
To the man that rides a ram,
But muffled bursts are cracking
Funeral marches to Exams.
"Then let us be up and doing,
It takes a heart for any fate;
The pony'is wild, his bits a-chew
Learn to ride and catch the gait."
Much golf is being played these
days over the University of South
Carolina Golf Club's course at Co
lumbia, S. C. In addition to the
regular players of the city there are
a large number of golfing guests
at the new Colonia Hotel. The rec
ord for the course is 7'4 for profes
sionals, held by Eugene McCarthy,
and 78 for amateurs, held by Sam
uel Bennett. The club, officials are
Major Benjamin Sloan, president;
Mrs. Henry F. Anderson. seceryr
The Board of Trustees recom
mended to the Legislature that an
appropriation be made for a Stu
dent Secretary of the Y. M. C. A.
at this institution. The advantages
of having a Student Secretary are
numerous, and it is hoped by all
that this appropriation will be
C's for the Campus, the dearest on
A is for Algy, who's big in the
R is a Rooster, so juicy and fat;
0 is the Zero you make under Pat;
L is the student who takes Senior
I is the Idler, who's asked to with
Now you swear off, Exams dis
A's for Anheuser, the King of all
and treasurer; Eugene McCarthy,
chairman of the golf committee.
President Benjamin Sloan, of the
University of South Carolina, is one
of the oldest and most widely
known golfers of the South. He
is seventy-two years old, but plays
nearly every good day, and is a
golfer of no small ability. He is a
gradluate of West Point and served
with' distinction during the Civil
War, on the Confederate side.
Rules of The New Football
BY WALLACE IRWIN.
The "forwards" must wear hand
cuffs to prevent a chance of fight
The halfbacks must be muzzled to
restrain them from biting;
The quarter must be chloroformed
before each play exciting.
Each player must be guarded by a
trainer, two physicians,
Two umpires, a policeman, and
A chaplain, too, must soothe him
during frequent intermissions.
Don't use rough language. Tem
ers must be smooth as any satin,
The gridiron's not a proper place to
wrangle or combat in
If you thust use profanity, please
-. wear in Greek or Latin.
To ba-*out all "professionals" we
favor this appliance:
Each student is disqualified, despite
his fierce defiance,
Who has not gained his Ph. D. in
Calculus or Science.
If some one takes the ball from you
. don't try by force to drop him
Stand still and thunder "Halt I"
three times, and if this doesn't
Call up a constable at once and have
the copper cop him.
A fullback who caught the ball, be
fore he tries to kick it
Must take it to the referee and get
a credit ticket.
Each coupon's good for seven yards
(you must not bend or nick it).
In running ends each player (a pre
Mnst ,wave a 'colored lantern as a
guard against collision
Dispuites must be referred to the
Supreme Court for decision.
1hyme of the Ancient Quar
t is an ancient quarterback,
And he tackles one of three:
'Now, what the-easy, easy, Jack I
Why dost thou tackle me?
'The grandstand gates are' opened
The bleachers filling fast
qayst hear the rooters root inside
I must not be the last."
-Ie holds him firm, he holds him
Gripped where his. clothes are
knd thus unto that luckless wight
Declared the quarterback:
'The game began-I tell you,
It was a red-hot match;
Nith 'tackle low' and 'round the
And many a punt and catch.
'And I was playing quarterback
Ah, me, the godly game!
Mhen suddenlee, alas, alack,
Through the line they came.
'A ton in weight, and charging
The fearful phalanx flew;
knd with The Ball one big and tall
Beyond them all came through-"
'God save thee, ancient football
From the fiends that plague thee
Nhy lookst thou so?"-"I tackled
That elephantine cuss.
'About, about, in rough-house rout,
The horrid scrimmage reeled;
Winus an arm and less a leg,
They bore me from the field.
'Three-quarters scattered W'er the
I was a fearsome wrack;
started in one full-sized man
They brought one-quarter back.
'And now from field to field I
Nay, take your quarter back;
need it not-I have a home,
Enough to eat-and all I lack
'Is one to listen while I tell
The story of my only game;
aLnd you, kind sir, have done It
I thank you for that same."
-New York Sun.